Author: desertspringblog

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Watching the Hand

“Behold,

As the eyes of servants look unto

The hand of their masters,

So our eyes wait upon

The Lord our God.”

Ps .123:2

Have you ever been in a room with Royalty?   Or a high-level leader?  A respected person with power?   Familiar imagery  is that of the “Leader” or “Master” surrounded by other people who are there just to provide whatever may be requested by the most important one in the room.

I had never caught this detail before:  “…eyes…look to the hand of their master.”  It may be a slight movement that activates the response of the watching servant.  If the servant is not paying attention to his master’s hand, he loses trust of his master.  He/she is more preoccupied with other things going on in the room, or in his own mind.  The initial message is non-verbal…just a move of the hand.  It is wordless communication which has been learned through experience.

I imagine it requires great focus for a servant to keep his eyes on the hand of his Master.  He needs to be in the room.  He/she needs to block out all the distractions going on around him/her, though significant they may be.  When the hand moves, the response must come.  Focus on that hand could affect trust, necessary actions, relationship and confidence.    It means that everything else going on in the room becomes secondary.  Everything else in the life of that servant takes a step back from the priority of watching that hand and responding appropriately.

Whoever we are, if we have become servants to our Master, “the Lord our God”, we need to follow this example in the Psalms.    Am I available?  Am I paying attention?   Am I willing to respond?  What are my distractions?  What has my higher focus?  Are my eyes on Him to the point that I would even notice that His Hand has moved… signaling something to me without words?

His Hand carries deep scars.   For me.  For you.  Out of Love that is far beyond human capacity. If I focus on His Hand, whatever He does with it, it embodies the Greatest Love, and Highest Calling.

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Things My Mother Taught Me: Through the homes we lived in.

Ethel Gregg, my mom, passed away January 29, 2020. At an beautiful, memorial held on Saturday, February 1st, I shared this memory of the homes she had lived and what mom had taught me…

In the old Chicago 3rd floor walk-up:

  • Strangers were welcome…even the homeless guy from Skid Row who drank my dad’s shaving lotion

In the lower level  of my grandparents’ apartment building:

  • All those feet and legs walking past our windows on the sidewalks outside had bodies attached to them;
  • Stay in our own yard;
  • I had a grandmother, a grandfather, and an aunt with a funny little bird;

In the basement of the old condemned church, where our windows were thick glass blocks:

  • “Home” is where we live together and get a new baby sister;
  • Church is what we live below, where Daddy and Mama work;
  • Missionaries were people who gave the church peoples’ old stuff to peoplefar, far away;

In Appleton, Wisconsin:

  • There were bedroom windows that we could actually see through to the outside;
  • Sometimes basement walls of houses cave in, and we have to move;
  • Sometimes, to save money for the church, we have to move to kind of yucky places, where our mom did not like to have to shovel cat poop out of the closets first. But she could make it nice anyway.
  • Whatever house we lived in, it was our family that made it home.
  • She taught me that I could ask Jesus to come into my own heart, and that He would…forever.
  • Music was a very important part of who my mother was, and she always brought it to whatever church we were in, always at the piano or organ or leading choirs;

In Manitowoc, Wisconsin:

  • It was very special to believe in Jesus, and that being baptized in a tank of water in the church showed that I believed;and that it shouldn’t matter that my sister 2 years younger than me could do it at the same time even though I’d had to wait until I was 10.
  • Not much else….just lots of snow and Lake Michigan went on forever;

In Oregon, Illinois:

  • Sometimes a pastor could work for other places besides in a church, like building a youth camp out in the woods;
  • Whether it’s a crummy old house with blue ‘SHUDDERS’ in a small town, or a simple A-frame house in the woods, it can be “home” for our family;
  • Singing with my sister, with Mom at the piano, was something that churches liked, and that we should do that for Jesus, because He gave us our voices for singing to Him;
  • She taught me that I should try not to throw up in church even though I was very very nervous to sing in front of people;

In Menasha, Wisconsin:  (she taught me that)

  • Even when it is just an old church building with no people there at all, we could still have music and preaching, and people would come;
  • We could take care of children for working mothers, and that could pay for the church and our family;
  • She taught me that she could work hard to grow a Day Care that could provide for our family, and help lots of children and mothers to learn more about Jesus;
  • She loved books, and with her daddy’s help, started a Christian Book Store so that other people could find books to help them in faith and life;
  • She helped our dad establish the first Christian Radio station, because the Good News of Jesus needed to go beyond the walls of church buildings;She did whatever she could, using her bookkeeping and secretarial skills to support all of these endeavors;
  • She taught by example that salaries and pay were not any motivation to use whatever skills she had to serve God;
  • Our home was always open to others…to visit or to stay.A widow with three little boys, missionaries and guest speakers passing through, troubled young people, friends and strangers….Mom never complained or made anyone feel unwelcome.
  • She taught by example that marriage is forever.
  • The stranger is welcome;
  • Every person matters;
  • God is always always always PRESENT.

 In her final years, near two daughters, Mom lived in a Senior Community Center (ARC).  Surrounded by her favorite things, whittled down to a comfortable living suite, she showed us what thriving looked like.  She quietly went through her days demonstrating and teaching us all so much:

  • How to “welcome the stranger”….women coming to live in the ARC alone,many widows.  She took them under-wing, incuded them in meal times, and many activities planned for the people living there.
  • Mom became very social…..interacting with anyone she met, nurses, housekeepers, and her ARC neighborhood.She demonstrated caring for her neighbors…and making them feel like family.
  • She filled her days with puzzling, reading with a book club, making funny hats and decorations to celebrate holidays and the Kentucky Derby …complete with big floppy hats decorated to the hilt.Mom taught us that it’s never too late to become “the life of the party.”
  • She played Penny BIngo….and always returned to her room with a little coin purse stuffed to the hilt with pennies. Quietly, hesitantly, she would whisper “Bingo” consistently, filling her little coin purse with her winnings…partly embarassed for “gambling”, but mostly her eyes said, “Party on!”
  • She played her piano for sing-alongs which filled the space…whether holiday songs or the old favorite hymns.She no longer read the music….it all came from her heart.
  • She taught all of us, especially in her ARC home, that everyone had value, was worthy of friendship and love.She rarely ever complained, and frugally moved through her days with grace, kindness, and generosity of loving care.
  • Mom slipped into the Arms of Jesus as gently and quietly as she had followed and lived for Him her whole life.Almost a century.  With a silent, simple breath she went into His Arms.  No struggle.  NO fear.  Perfect Peace.
  • News of Mom’s transfer to Heaven brought many, many tears.Spontaneously, a sweet memorial grew outside her door…notes of love, silk flowers, and paper flowers from the Kentucky Derby hats…from residents and staff alike.

Her death brought to a close her years of teaching by her life example.  But the lessons she wordlessly taught have found places in countless hearts, minds and lives.  As she celebrates now in the Home she lived for on this earth, we know that we will see her again.

She taught us that with absolute certainty.

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Life Numbers

“Teach us

to number each of our days

so that we may grow in wisdom.”  

Psalm 90:12

Lists have become very important to me.  I forget things!   Rather than considering it part of aging, I prefer to think of it as my brain moving closer to its saturation point.  There’s just too much up there!!

So, lists have become a daily activity.  And I try to prioritize my lists. . . most important and time-sensitive are nearest the top.  Top priority is #1. Anything without a number just naturally slides down the list…to the side…perhaps is completely lost in the shuffle.  But I also tend to prioritize according to my own preferences, comfort level, and capabilities.

In this Psalm, we read this request for God’s help in prioritizing our time on this earth.  Prioritizing our days on this planet.  Each day matters to Him.  He said that He had numbered our days.  But in this verse, the writer asks for His help in learning how to number our own days.  Numbering forces us to consider one thing at a time.  We have to see each day as one, rather than a vague blur of days sliding into each other.

What priorities has God set for our days, and to what do we need to give our best energies?  His Perspective is all-knowing. . . beginning to end.  We only see “now”  and “past,” with only limited understanding of those days.

But God knows exactly how many days we have, and how He has woven our lives…our days…into His Plan.  His priorities for our time on this earth are most likely quite different from our perspective on our priorities.

To learn from Him what He prioritizes for how we live out our days will always be best.  Wisest.  Most useful to furthering His Purposes on this planet.  Each day at a time.  Rather than thinking of our lives in terms of life seasons, or years, or as one long blur of time, let’s think of LIFE as one day at a time, knowing that God not only gives us each day, but He has a Plan that includes us, each day at a time.  He has numbered our days.  May we look to Him for how to use each one.

 

 

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Writing in the Sand

“Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

Early the next morning he returned to the temple courtyard.

All the people went to him, so he sat down and began to teach them.”

John 8

The Mount of Olives….the place that looked over the City of Jerusalem from across a deep Valley.

The Mount of Olives….the backside of which was the town of His dear friends, Lazarus, Mary and Martha.

The Mount of Olives….where olives grew in abundance, were harvested, and pressed three separate times in order to extract the olive oil which was so central in daily life.  Olive oil…for health…for healing.

Jesus was nearing the end of His time as a Man on this earth.  After His rest that night near His friends, He returned to Jerusalem, walking down through the deep Kidron valley that separates the Mount of Olives from the City.  After reaching the bottom of the Valley, it is a steep climb back up to the City of Jerusalem, passing through the ancient City of David and then climbing the slope leading up to the top of the Mountain, and walking up the ancient steps He would reach the top, where the Temple and its surrounding courtyards were alive with the daily activities around the Temple of God.  Money changers were there for all those coming from regions and nations of different currencies.  Selling and buying sacrifice-destined animals took place there, as well as the actual sacrifices of the animals. People passed through the ritual baths so that each could enter the courtyards of worship “clean.”  All of these activities were part of the daily life around the Temple Mount … the highest point in the heart of Jerusalem.

Jesus was there . . .  in the very heart of all the religious activities taking place.

(:2)…”all the people went to Him, so He sat down and began to teach them.”

In the midst of all of the vibrant, daily life of Jerusalem, this story takes place:  John recorded:

(:3-:6)    “The experts in Moses’ Teachings and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught committing adultery.  They made her stand in front of everyone and asked Jesus,

 ‘Teacher, we caught this woman in the act of adultery.

In his teachings, Moses ordered us to stone women like this to death.

What do you say?”

They asked this to test him. They wanted to find a reason to bring charges against him.”

She had been caught.  Now her darkest secret was fully exposed.  She stood there, all alone, with everyone looking. Utterly humiliated. She knew what was coming.  This would be the place of her death.  The crowd around her, including men who may well have had their own secrets with her, would start looking for which rocks and stones they would throw at her.   She would fall to her knees to try to become her only shelter, until she would slowly become unconscious and die.

Realistically, how had she been “caught?”   The religious “experts” … the “we” in this story had caught her in the act. How did that happen???  The “we” arrive at her home (most likely not in a very good part of town)….at the same time….as well as at the same time that a man who was doing business with her…..the most intimate act occuring at the same time that a group of religious experts come it.  Witnesses.  Was it a mere “happening”?  All those parties “happening” to come together ‘at the moment of the crime.’  Or had it been planned. . . a trap?  It wouldn’t have been a “trap” targeting the woman for its focus….it would have been for the purpose of using her in a new way . . . to “trap” their bigger focus:  Jesus.

Everyone’s eyes were on one Man, awaiting His nod to begin.   But instead, he looked down on the ground, and began making marks in the sand.  No one could see what he was writing.  He spoke not a word.

Desert people often write in the sand.  It is the most easily accessible material to make notes, give an illustration, or play a game.  And it is also the easiest medium to erase.  One swift swipe of a hand, foot or stick, and the writing is gone.

(:7)  “When they persisted in asking Him questions, He straightened up and said,  ‘The person who is sinless should be the first to throw a stone at her.’  (8) Then He bent down again and continued writing on the ground.”

A guilty conscience produces paranoia.  “What is He writing?”   “What if He’s writing names of people who have done business with this woman?”  “ What if He knows about me?”  “What if He’s writing my name?”  “How could He know?”  “Who else knows?”

(:9)  “One by one, beginning with the older men, the experts in Moses’ Teachings and Pharisees, left.  Jesus was left alone with the woman.”

Whatever was happening in the minds and hearts of the crowd, each quietly let his rock fall to the ground and slowly walked away.  The Temple area was their world.  It’s where they did most of their religious activities.

Jesus wasn’t staring at her, as everyone else probably was. Jesus continued to make marks in the sand, not looking up.  Finally, only two were in the center of attention:  the Writer in the sand and the woman kneeling there, waiting for the first rock to strike…yet hearing the slow shuffling of sandals moving away. And the silence.  No more shouting.  No more anger.  No more condemnation.  Just silence.

(:10)  Then Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Where did they go?  Has anyone condemned you?”   

(:11) The woman answered, ‘No one, sir.’ 

        Jesus said, “I don’t condemn you either.   Go!   From now on don’t sin.”

Jesus spoke directly to her, asking her where her accusers were.  Gone.  Jesus wasn’t anything like the religious leaders.  He dignified her with his question, and listened to her answer.  Then, He said she could leave, telling her to “sin no more.”  The woman who was guilty had stepped into His Light.   And she walked away free…..free of the shame, the guilt, the shadows, the hiding, the abuse, and the darkness in her life.  She was Known to the One Who held the key to her freedom. . . to a new life.    Living in the Light.

(:12)  (at some point) …”Jesus spoke to the Pharisees again:

He said, ‘I am the Light of the world.

Whoever follows me will have a life filled with light

and will never live in the dark.’”   

They had watched her walk away.  She should have been dead.  That had been the plan.  They wanted to use her to get to Him… They had watched a completely different ending play out.  And she was gone.

Jesus watched her walk away as well.

Then, He turned His attention back to the Pharisees, who had watched it all happening.

“He said, “I am the Light of the World.”  (:12a)

This is the Name He carried.  Nothing . . . no one… is hidden from the Light.  No one in the whole world.  He declared His unique Name and Identity.  He spoke to our own reality, too.

In His declaration, Jesus gives a picture of identification of all those who would carry His Name.

(:12b)  “…Whoever follows Me will have a life filled with light and will never live in the dark.” 

He provided a practical means to know who else is part of Him, “living in light.”  Not in hiding.  Not in darkness. Not under the cover of religion or faith.  The woman who was guilty stepped into His Light.  And she walked away free….free of the shame, the guilt, the shadows, the hiding, the abuse, and the darkness in her life.   She was Known to the One Who held the key to her freedom….to a new life.  She had stepped into His Light.

Jesus watched her walk away as well.

He turned His attention back to the group again, who had watched all of this unfolding.

 “I am the Light of the World.”  This is the Name He carried.  Nothing . . . no one… is hidden from the Light.  No one in the whole world.  He declared His unique Name, Identity . . . the only One in all the world.

And in His declaration, Jesus gives a picture of identification of all those who would carry His Name,  and share His Identity.  He provided a practical means to know who else is part of Him, living in light.  Not in hiding.  Not in darkness.  The woman who was guilty stepped into His Light.  And she walked away free….free of the shame, the guilt, the shadows, the hiding, the abuse, and the darkness in her life.   She was Known to the One Who held the key to her freedom….to a new life.   Living in the Light.

He gave those who were judging the choice.  This group that had brought the woman they had hoped to kill were being given a chance to LIVE.   The ones who had been merciless with a woman they wanted dead, a woman who had had no choice.  Mercy had stepped into the story. . . for both sides of the story.

Jesus didn’t take sides.   He saw everyone’s hearts at the same time.  They all needed work.  Yet, He could expose hearts without condemnation.  He could do it with Hope.

The very ones who were judging had been judged. . . yet without condemnation.

He always did it with Hope.

 

 

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In the Blank Space

“Peter said to Him,

‘Lord, why can’t I follow You now?’”

John 13:37 

Jesus had created a “blank space” for His friends.  They had just finished what would be their last meal together.  It was a special meal, remembering how God had miraculously delivered His people from their slavery in Egypt, and brought them to the Land He had promised them.  Jesus was leaving the room.  Peter wanted to go with Him.

But Jesus was heading to the cross.  And Peter was going to hear a rooster crow three times.

For three years they had been together.  They had experienced God, and their lives had completely changed.  They had been very busy together, watching… learning… following…and being included in the Work that Jesus had come to earth to do.  They’d seen miracles.  They’d learned of God…heaven….and how to be part of God’s Plan for the people He had created.  They’d had front row seats, and had actively participated in the life of Jesus for three years.

When God creates a “blank space” in our lives, it is difficult for us.  Especially when we don’t understand it….had not expected it….had not asked for it.   It leaves us with unknowns…questions…anxieties…and often pain.    It is hard to stand in the space…and wait.

Peter experienced that.

But God has a Purpose for the “space” He has created or allowed in our lives, often not of our own choosing.

The Truth is, God is in that space.  Just as much as He has been in the active, purposeful activities we have been part of, sometimes even for a lifetime.

What does “the Space” offer us?

  • Time to LISTEN
  • THINK
  • BREATHE
  • LOOK into my own HEART
  • SPEND OPEN-ENDED TIME WITH HIM
  • PREPARE FOR WHAT IS COMING . . .

Filling “The Space” may take away from the opportunity God has offered to simply look into your own heart . . . and into His.   He has a Purpose for the Space that He has permitted.   Don’t lose the opportunity laid before you.  He is there.

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In the Garden

Sitting alone in a simple, humble garden, these words gently wafted into my mind . . . my heart.

His whisper came.  I was in a garden I had never visited before.  It was on the Mount of Olives, but hidden from the public eyes of the thousands of visitors who came to see and experience the area where Jesus would have spent time talking to His Father.  Behind an old wooden door and ancient rock wall, hidden from the eyes of the regular crowds, the humble gatekeeper had invited me in for a moment in time to simply take it in . . . and listen.  I perched on a large rock, taking note of the hard, broken, dry ground on which it sat . . . perhaps for a thousand years. Perhaps one He had touched.

My eye came to rest on some tiny little plants that had found spots of dirt in which to sink their tiny roots.  A fragile little white flower, some tiny yellow blossoms, and another small purple flower had bloomed amidst the rocky path along which I had found my momentary perch.  If I hadn’t been looking down, I would have never seen them.  So tiny, so intricate, so lovely and unexpected.

My downcast eyes focused on the fragile beauties, doing what they were created to do.

I knew that God was there, and that He had something to speak to my sad heart in this ancient, peaceful little garden.  I was listening . . .

“I know what it’s like to not want to go through something horrible . . . to be hit by it . . . rocked by it . . .  to have to feel, to have to hurt,  to have to know mental anguish, physical torment, emotional devastation…. To experience a sense of hopelessness. 

“But all of that was a temporary experience.   I carry the scars, and so will you.  But I had togo through it in order that what was to come could be accomplished.  “. . . For the Joy set before Me, I endured the cross . . .”

Joy was waiting.

What was it for Him?

~  Making forgiveness possible

~  Making Heaven accessible

~  Making Eternity in Heaven actual

~  Breaking the Power of the Evil One

~  Breaking the Power of Death

~  Making Satan powerless

~  Giving Hope to this hopeless world

What is the “Joy set before me?”

Where are my eyes?

As a child whose attention is so easily distracted, I hear His Voice,

“Look in My Eyes.”   

“Focus on Me.”

“Do what I’m telling you to do.”

“I Am with you….always!”

“Look in My Eyes.”

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Nadir

Today began with tears.   I received a message from the desert that a dear man had died.  This quiet, kind “man of peace” had been a long-time participant in the Dialogues we have held for the past 13 years in the desert refugee camps.  Nadir was not a refugee….he was a very successful businessman of the large city nearby the desert refugee camps.  He had built a home for unwed mothers in the camps….so well done, built with deep compassion.  He had also orchestrated a caravan of trucks of needed supplies for the camps, all at his own expense.

I am sure there were also many acts of love and compassion that I never heard about.  A quiet, gentle man, he was dedicated to the significance of the Dialogue, where he learned of the One

Who had given His life for all.

Then I began my morning quiet time, and read these words:

“Use the Truth to make them holy.  Your Words are Truth.”  John 17:17

What Hope!  Thousands and thousands of Words have gone out during the Dialogues through these many years.  Truth.  Absolute Truth.  Beautiful, hopeful Truth.  Words of The Word who became one of us to make Heaven possible for us.

Nadir was consistently there, sitting near the front.  Listening intently.  Quietly.  Respectfullly.  He was a man whose life reflected so much of the Words that he absorbed throughout those times together in the desert.

I hope I see him again.  I hope . . . pray . . . that I see many, many familiar, beloved faces from the desert when I am Home.   That is the heart of why I . . . we . . . go.

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Tents

“Now we know that

if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed,

we have a building from God,

an eternal house in heaven,

not built by human hands.”

2 Cor. 5:1

Tents are the homes of shepherds.  Made of woven goat hair, they repel water, yet allow the tent to “breathe” through its walls and roof.  Their “breathing” shade and shelter are perfect for herders, who must be on the move in their mission of finding good pasture for their herds.  They are designed to be mobile, and can  last a long, long time with proper care.  But they are also vulnerable.  (And smelly, if the goat’s hair fabric gets wet!)

I was in a family tent, enjoying a lunch with my desert family, when a sudden storm came.  Very rare. The wind was blowing in a circular way, and suddenly the entire tent began to lift up off of the ground.  All the men immediately ran to each corner and physically became “weights” to keep the tent from becoming airborne.  It was very scary for all of us!  I suddenly became aware of how vulnerable it was to live in a tent as a permanent home.

God’s promises to us concerning our physical “tent” – both our bodies and our houses – take on deeper meaning when we come face to face with their vulnerabilities.  Sickness, storms, the weakening that develops over time, all remind us of how vulnerable we really are.

What a wonderful comfort and reassurance we can draw knowing that God Himself has prepared our Forever Home, with  Him, in Heaven.  No storm, nor disaster, nor sickness or death will everbe part of what God has prepared for us after our time on this earth.

It will be absolutely perfect!

 

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Doing Something New

“ The Lord makes a path through the sea

and a road through the strong currents.

Forget what happened in the past,

 and do not dwell on events from long ago.

I am going to do something new.

It is already happening.

Don’t you recognize it?

 I will clear a way in the desert.

I will make rivers on dry land.”

Is. 43:16,18-19

As I write this, on the final day of 2019, the poignancy of this passage brings tears as well as peace.  God’s people had been through incredible experiences. They had literally walked through an enormous sea, its powerful waters pushed aside, towering above them, as they walked through on dry land. Pharoah’s mighty army was close behind them with every intent to end their lives…God’s people…God’s nation.   What they were going through made no earthly sense.  They had no other choice but to move forward, tho’ that seemed like the final step toward a death that would surely come.

But in the midst of the impossibilities, God was there.  He was in the center of it all.  He was with them.  Tho’ His people did not think they would survive walking through a sea that surrounded them, looming all around them, waiting to completely destroy them at any moment, God was there holding it back until they had all passed through the incredibly impossible experience.

They had come through captivity….slavery….brutal human tragedy.  So much suffering.  So much loss.  So much death.  They had lost themselves as a nation.  They had lost so much of their faith.  They had lost so much of their identity.  And joy.

At the end of this impossible path through a raging sea, they had no idea what awaited them.  Would it be a beautiful land?  Would it be green?  Would it be safe?  Would they be free?  Would it be a new life of freedom and promise?

The desert that awaited was not, I’m sure, what they had dreamed about from their desert of slavery.  In God’s divine wisdom, He still had a lot of work to do in the hearts of this people that He had chosen to be His own.  They needed to learn how to be free.  They needed to learn how to become a nation.  They needed to know Him.  That takes time.  It takes a lot of pain, unfortunately.  But through pain and loss, the most powerful and deep changes come in our own hearts.  Through them, if we cooperate, God becomes most real.  Most clearly active in us…if we let Him.  In the midst of tragedy and loss, we can run from Him . . . or to Him.

Through the journey I’ve had in the past two years, I have come to know Him to a depth as never before.  Because of pain and losses like never before, He has shown Himself to me in ways I’d never experienced before. . . in ways I had never needed Him before.

For me, having to walk with God through a literal desert with an exiled nation I’d never known before 1999, and the personal tragedy and losses of the past 2 years, I have also experienced the unending Love, Kindness, Faithfulness and Nearness of this One Who drew me to Himself as a little girl.  I am seeing some of the “way in the desert” that He is creating….and dipping my toes into the rivers He is creating, in my own life and in the desert.

I don’t know what it will look like, but I know it will be the best, because He will be there.